December 17th 2009 will forever be a memorable time in my life. There were many long years filled with countless events that built up to it, but when taken individually these things are insignificant. It is the outcome fueled by the collective that will hold the most significance to me.
It was the day I left my father and my home of almost 15 years for the first time. The day I would live with my mother for the first time, who I had seen increasingly less of as I grew older. Over the years our relationship became strained; he had his life, and I had mine. We barely interacted, and when we did it was only to clash horns. At the time I blamed him for many things, as did he with me. Eventually I became so independent that he couldn't raise me anymore, and so my mother agreed to take care of me. The date of the flight to Korea was set on the 17th. I had only just moved to a new town about 3 months before this, and now had to leave another home, school, and many new friends I had made.
It was an emotional experience. I barely knew anything about Korea, living abroad, or even my own mother who I was to live with. It was the first time I ever saw my father break down and cry. Saying goodbye to all my family in England, and leaving just over a week before Christmas.
I still can't decide whether it was a change for the better or the worse. Maybe I never will. As of now I deeply regret ever moving, but for what its worth there was some good that came out of it. Finally seeing my father being open with me for the first time in a while, and seeing a new land and culture from a different perspective than just a visitor. But one thing that both surprised and touched me was the response from the new school I had only just joined and left. My last day was very special, with my uniform covered with marker expressing lots of good luck wishes and goodbyes. One of my friends had made a Facebook group dedicated to me, wishing me all the best on my new life in Korea, with nearly the entire school joining it and contributing to it. Until then I wasn't very confident in myself, but just seeing how much of an impact I had made on that school in such a short time completely changed my perspective on myself.
The "ritual" shall last from dawn on the 17th, when I first left my home for the airport, to dusk on the 18th, when I first set foot outside the airport in Korea. It will be a time of reflection, a time I shall spend completely alone, just like I had done on the flight and how I felt for a long time before and after this event. In hindsight, I could have easily prevented the strain on the relationship with my father, but I was much too proud for that. This will serve to remind me how I am the largest barrier to my own life. And on this day, I shall remember the one phrase my father held so dearly. A quote from Calvin and Hobbes, a comic strip my father adored and from which he gave me my middle name of Calvin. The very last line Calvin ever says to Hobbes before the series ended. The line engraved on the back of my iPod I was given by my father as my last Christmas present on my last week in the UK:
"It's a magical world, Hobbes, ol' buddy. Let's go exploring!"
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